10 Questions for Sunday’s 49ers-Seahawks NFC Title Game

With one of the biggest games of my adult life looming, I figured I’d take a page out of Michael Silver’s playbook and dish out 10 perfectly biased questions related to the two teams who have the crown in their sights, the San Francisco 49ers and the Seattle Seahawks.

1. How nervous are 49ers fans for Sunday’s game? Not nearly as nervous as Seahawks players when the hear the words “Random Drug Test”.

2. Joe Montana made comments earlier in the week that Colin Kaepernick has “room to improve”. Is he simply trying to motivate Kap or is he just worried that with one more clutch road win, the nickname “Cool Kap” may be more apt than Montana’s “Joe Cool”?

3. If Crab, Anquan, and VD get enough separation to make big plays against the vaunted “Legion of Boom” are 49ers fans allowed to rename the Seahawks secondary the “Legion of Room”?

4. I’m having trouble figuring this out. Is “the 12th Man” just a nickname for the fiery fans at Century Link Field or it is also code name for the Seahawks’ “adderall” dealer?

5. Earlier this year, when the Seahawks were playing the best ball in the league, Drake paid them a visit, documenting his time there on Instagram. If the 49ers win on Sunday, will he start rooting for us, joining Lil’ Wayne and Snoop Dogg as the three biggest frontrunners in the Hip-Hop game?

6. Every time I hear Richard Sherman called “the Shermanator” I think of that dorky ginger from those American Pie movies whose words never quite backed up his game. Sherman’s words back up his game more often than I like to admit but his maturity, like the “Sherminator”  in those movies, could play some catch up. I mean really, if the 49ers win, will he admit defeat with some class or will he stomp his feet like a little boy and point his finger at the officiating crew (again!)?

7. Underrated storyline in this one: the best Running Back to come out of the school that used to pump out the best NFL talent (Frank Gore – UMiami) vs. the best Running Back to come out of the school that currently pumps out the best NFL talent (Marshawn Lynch – Cal). Argue with me if you’d like but we can all agree on one question here: will Marshawn please do a Skittles commercial already? I’d love to see that, wouldn’t you love to see that?

8. Golden Tate, the onside-kick fumbling Seahawks Wide Receiver, averages just under one boneheaded play a game. When he all-but-surely boosts that average this Sunday, will it be enough of a blow to knock the gum out of Cheatey Petey’s mouth?

9. If the 49ers win and decide to have a champagne shower in the locker room can we please, for Ahmad Brooks’ sake, ensure that practice-squad players are given a separate room? And, for Aldon’s sake, can we have some Martinelli’s in the mix? (“Fair and balanced” coverage over here)

10. What’s your deal Harbaugh? Just because your wife knocked your $8 Walmart khakis you’re going to go all Doug Christie on us and let her call the shots? You’ve taken us to three straight title games wearing those, no need to switch it up now.

And that’s all folks. Enjoy the game.

Follow Akash on Twitter @akash112